where the hell have you been?!

That, my darling reader, is a damn good question.

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It’s been just shy of six whole months since I last posted on this thoroughly neglected blog.

Look, I didn’t intend to go for so long without writing. I promise I didn’t. It just… happened.

I’ve been trying to figure out why it’s taken so long to get back to the keyboard.

It wasn’t because I was busy and it wasn’t because I was tired. (In fact, I find writing after a long day pretty energising!)
And it wasn’t because I had broken my laptop and couldn’t be bothered to fix it.
Nor was it because I had a bet with my friends to see how long I could go for without blogging (but 5 months and 21 days isn’t bad).
Nor was it because I was wrapped up in a Super Wonderful New Man. Haha. No.
Nor was it because I forgot how to write.
Nor was it because I had writer’s block.
Nor was it because I completely forgot that I had a little blog which was in need of some loving.
Nor was it because I found a new pursuit. (Although I have just taken up Italian on Duolingo, so watch out, world!)
Nor was it because a magical unicorn kidnapped my laptop along with all of my passwords.

No. It was none of those things.

The truth is that I’ve been… happy.

HUH?! You didn’t write because you were happy?!

Yep. You read that correctly.

Let’s start by clarifying a few things: Firstly, I’m still really happy now. Secondly, there have definitely been plenty of happy moments whilst I’ve been writing up until now- it has not all been terrible! However, I’ve come to realise that the majority of the time when I wrote in the past came from a place of sadness. In many ways, writing was a cathartic process of emotional processing and release. Writing played a huge role in helping me out of those moments when I was feeling down and depressed.

However, when I had a sustained period of feeling, on the whole, really happy the only downside has been that I haven’t need to write, because I didn’t need that emotional release.

irony
Oh, the puns!

But to say that the past six months have been really positive doesn’t mean that they’ve been easy: in fact, there have been quite a few challenging patches including, but not limited to, losing my job, making big decisions and being busier that I can remember having been. However, I wouldn’t ever consider changing the past six months because it’s been a time when I’ve made some wonderful friends, I’ve travelled, I’ve moved houses and I’ve been able to get through challenging patches which would have been far too much for me only a few years ago.

So, my darling reader, to answer your question of, “Where the hell have you been?!” I have been here in Sydney, figuring out how to re-embrace my writing without associating it with feeling down.

And I think I’m finally there… so let’s celebrate with some classic 90s goodness 😉

Alex x

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