The realities of unemployment: the cons.

Do not (choose to) try this at home.

In the immortal words of one Forrest Gump, “Shit happens”.

I was recently reminded of this when I found myself unexpectedly, unceremoniously unemployed. Which, for the record, is not fun.

By way of explanation, I would like to clarify that I was not stealing staplers from the office and my former employer was not in the wrong – my contract was just unexpectedly not renewed because, despite being very happy with my performance, I still have half a day of uni this year, which was inconvenient for my former team. Understandable, but utterly unexpected and utterly… upsetting.

So, I abruptly found myself in a situation that I never anticipated or hoped to experience: unemployment.

In addition to not having an income, there are a few other downsides I’ve experienced courtesy of unemployment:

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where the hell have you been?!

That, my darling reader, is a damn good question.

It’s been just shy of six whole months since I last posted on this thoroughly neglected blog.

Look, I didn’t intend to go for so long without writing. I promise I didn’t. It just… happened.

I’ve been trying to figure out why it’s taken so long to get back to the keyboard.

It wasn’t because I was busy and it wasn’t because I was tired.

the drunk text dilemma.

And the (evil) power of the ‘Send’ button.

It’s kind of inevitable, isn’t it?

Boy meets girl*. Someone swipes right. Someone shares their newspaper on the train. Whatever. *Something* happens.
Boy asks for girls number. Girl feels like Beyoncé for the rest of the day.
Boy texts girl. Girl responds to text after what is deemed to be an appropriate amount of time has passed.**
Boy asks girl out on a date.
Boy and girl get emotionally tangled.
Something something, fast forward X amount of days/weeks/months/years and POOF!

La fin. It’s over, kids.

But that’s not where the story ends, is it? Oh, no. That’d be far too easy.

relationship status update.

So, there’s something which has been on my mind for a few months that I’ve been wanting to share with you all.

In all honesty, I’m not really sure where to start. It began so many years ago and I was entirely unaware of it growing that when it fully blossomed it took me completely by surprise. What began out as mild disgust has since developed into a passionate pledge of sorts.

I never thought I would be this person, but here I am, ready to make it known to the world.

Here goes nothing. Inhale, Alex. Inhale. Exhale. 

90s Rom Com Feminism Fails: My Best Friend’s Wedding

“My Best Friend’s Wedding”, starring Julia Roberts and co-starring Big Hair, Brick Phone and Lilac Satin.

I have always – ALWAYS – been a sucker for anything even vaguely romantic – and rom coms (romantic comedies, for the uninitiated) are my ultimate not-so-secret, not-feeling-even-mildly-guilty pleasure. God, I love them.

However, in recent years it has occurred to me that equality between men and women is something I really care about, dang it. I realised that I’m actually rather passionate about things like being paid the same amount for the same work – not more or less because of your sex. I realised that I’m rather passionate about people not being restricted or defined by society’s ideas and traditions of sex, sexuality, gender, love, marriage, happiness and fulfillment. And then I remembered that I was also rather passionate about 90s rom coms…

little wonders.

Image: Cristian Calzone

It shouldn’t be this hard.

It shouldn’t be this hard to remove the doonas. It shouldn’t be this hard to walk to the kitchen. It shouldn’t be this hard to put the pyjamas in the washing basket. It shouldn’t be this hard to walk the 280 metres to the train station.

But it is hard. Today it’s hard.

another type of beautiful.

“T’es belle,” he whispered.

You’re beautiful.

And he kept on repeating it. Over and over.

You’re beautiful.

versus head versus heart.

 

Three little words.

Three little words with the maddening power to make my rib cage expand to bursting point.

Three little words that have been ricocheting between my thoughts for days. But now the days have melted into weeks and, to my horror, months.

These words have been haunting me for months; they’ve been with me as I’ve stood waiting for the lights, climbed the escalator and strolled the grocery aisles. They have invaded my existence.

I don’t know.

a step into the unknown.

Scene from “Duck Soup” (1933).

Confessional: despite the fact that I blog about my love life, I actually have very little relationship experience.

Yeah, ironic, I know. Or perhaps that’s doesn’t come as a surprise at all… (Hmm. Let’s not dwell on that, ok?) Also, please do not use my blog as relationship advice. That would be a very bad idea.

an open letter of sorts.

It doesn’t take that much neglect for things to quickly deteriorate, does it? I’ve learnt that the hard way. Multiple times. (Which would suggest that I didn’t learn it in the first place…)

Something that I do know is that I don’t want this little rascal of a passion project to end up on that list too. So, with that in mind, please excuse me for a minute or four; I have a little note to write on the back of a piece of scrap paper.

****

To my darling blog,

The past month of my life has been… unique. (Yes, that was deliberately diplomatic.) Although it has been quite emotionally draining, its being so has been a good thing, for it is hard to progress without change, n’est-ce pas?